NOVEMBER, 1997

Remember those plastic kerchiefs that were clear with whimsical, tiny red flowers or some other almost invisible print that came in their own, minuscule, plastic pouches and usually were given to you by your grandmother or some else very much like her both practical and concerned about your health or at the very least your hairdo?

What ever happened to them? I never wore one because I felt like doing so would be tantamount to publicly declaring myself to be a total and complete dork but now that I'm all grown up and comfortable in my utter geekiness I've been thinking that those plastic scarves would probably be more convenient in the rain than struggling with an umbrella so if anyone knows where I can find one, please let me know, won't you?

Think Different, The Wall Street Journal, 4/11/97, p B1.

"'I will always speak my mind. Every day,' says a man wearing sunglasses in a recent Toyota Motor TV commercial. Then the screen turns black and the new slogan comes on: 'Toyota. Everyday.

"'Did Japan's No. 1 car company good when it spelled the slogan 'everyday'? Or did it really mean to suggest that its cars are commonplace and ordinary, as 'everyday' means when it's squished together as one word?

"'Grammatically, it should be two words,' concedes Sally Reinman, an executive with Cordiant's Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising, which created the ad. But after six months of 'huge arguments,' she says, Saatchi deliberately chose to use the incorrect spelling because the single word looked friendlier and more suitable as a zippy slogan. 'It's more than just a word. It's how the word looks. It's how you deconstruct the message,' she says.

"Advertising agencies have butchered the English language before, including in the famous 1954 tagline, 'Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should.' (Using 'as a cigarette should' would have been correct.)

"Soon after Saatchi officials started considering the 'Everyday' slogan early this year, the Torrance, Calif., office split into two camps. Some copywriters complained that 'Everyday,' as one word, was so clearly wrong that it 'hurt their eyes,' Ms. Reinman says. She herself preferred the incorrect version because it looked like a message from real consumers, not a big car company.

"Art directors pushed for the one-word version, too, but for a different reason: As a graphic signature, two words looked awkward because of the space in the middle.

"The one-word fans got their way after showing the ad to about 50 consumers. A few people questioned the grammar but quickly forgave the agency on the ground that they had seen grammar mistakes in advertising before. Saatchi emphasizes that it isn't entirely condoning illiteracy. The usage is correct -- two words -- in the body of the ad.

"Apple Computer faced a trickier situation when it recently chose the slogan 'Think different' over the grammatically correct 'Think differently.' The struggling computer company wanted to dazzle disenchanted Macintosh users with a bold, memorable message and upbeat ads featuring geniuses such as Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso. But Apple also prides itself on dominating the school market with more than a two-thirds share.

"Still, Apple and its agency, Omnicom Group's TBWA Chiat/Day, decided not to fix the slogan. Instead, they prepared an elaborate and somewhat convoluted explanation in a one- page note, and fired it off to the gaggle of schoolteachers and other concerned citizens who complained.

"'The word 'differently,' being an adverb, would communicate an unintended message. It would tell the reader HOW to think,' says the note. It adds that in the slogan, the word 'different' shouldn't even be treated as an adjective, as it usually is, but as a noun. 'Because 'different' is not a modifier but a 'thing,' the message of the tagline now tells us WHAT TO THINK ABOUT, rather than HOW to think.

"Sometimes, companies say, they can't afford to use correct language because it conveys the wrong image."

The self breast exam seems like something that's easy enough to perform but yet I never manage to quite get around to it. Breast cancer doesn't run in my family. Or so I think. It's not as if I've asked anyone.

Basically, the self breast exam is one of those things that falls in the flossing category of denial and evasion. Sure, it's good for you and it might even save your life but like condoms and seat belts and religion it just isn't all that appealing for some reason.