The Move
Continued...

Day Three

Today was struggle with technology day but I'll spare you the details

Actually, that's about all that happened today. I mean, we covered about 300 miles. So I guess that's something. We went way out of our way to find this cheese factory to which we'd been alerted by a tiny sign along the side of the interstate (40 for those of you following along at home). The cheese factory was in the town of Tucumcari. Texas maybe? Oh no, New Mexico. Definitely, New Mexico. Near the border though so it's confusing. Who can tell, right? Anyway, we bought a cheese. A cheddar if you must know. With something green in it. Chilis I guess.

We got stuck in traffic. Somehow. In the middle of nowhere. Avoided a really bad car accident. Located a Kinko's in, um, Amarillo (Texas, obviously) and I took care of some overdue invoicing. Refilled our water bottles. Found the lens cap to the camera which had been lost for all of two (2) hours. Drove by a big cross. Decided not to sleep in the town with the big cross. The town's name was "Groom." I mean, really, *you* be the judge of that.

Still not eating dinner. We've got our cheese, some apples, a lot of wine (thank god). As mom said, it was a good day: "We didn't hit anything."

Day Four

The bait bucket was way up on the top shelf so we had to get someone to help us take it down. We needed a small styrofoam cooler to keep the cheese from melting and the bucket was the perfect size. The guy who took it down had to dust it off. "I guess it's been up there a long time," said mom. "Yep," said the guy. (Does everyone in this country say "yep"? Just asking.) I came very close to blurting out my hypothesis that maybe the buckets were so dusty because it wasn't fish season and therefore the bait buckets weren't moving. Luckily I realized it's always fish season. Unless you're a salmon. Or maybe not. Like I said, I kept the theory to myself so now I'll never know.

SPECIAL BULLETIN: As I type Mom is screaming. Cricket the size of a house. Hopping now. Hoppinghoppingscreaming. Please hold.

O.K. Am back. So we moved the lamp to find the cricket and instead discovered a spider that really was about the size of a silver dollar, including legs. (Oh god, small beetles now, two apparently. "If they have *hotels* they should *spray*.") We killed the spider first, having lost track of the cricket in all the excitement. Mom is strikingly good at bug squashing. ("I'm very happy to know that of the spider and the cricket we saw, they are resting in peace." That's what she's saying now. "We RIPped them, as they say.") Really calm and cool under fire. I had to lend her my tennis shoe though. For the greater surface area. She puts the shoe on her hand like a mitt. (Now she's turning back the covers, lifting the pillows. "Anybody else?" Really. She's talking to them. The bugs.) We left the dead cricket where it died, as a warning to the other bugs.

I ate an ostrich burger today. For no particular reason. I mean, I ate it because I could but not because we were on an ostrich farm. It was just a truck stop in Oklahoma. I think of it as the place I ate lunch today. Mom thinks of it as the place that the truck driver tried to back into her and destroy the truck.

While we were buying the bait bucket and some makeup to replace the stuff mom lost when she lost her cosmetics bag (we don't know where but for the record, I do not remember seeing it even once today) we discovered this halloween costume shop in the mall. They had giant m&m costumes. Mom bought one. Green. She offered to buy me one. But I don't know, my fantasy isn't to dress like an m&m -- I want to *be* an m&m.

Oklahoma is not as flat as I'd been lead to believe. But far, far windier than anyone lets on. And it has a lot of "antique malls" with an enormous selection of punch bowls and porcelain waffle irons.

Peanuts are really, really key on a long drive.

Got to go now and let the plumber in.

Continued -->