GUEST E-MAIL

Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 10:16:07 -0400
From: tim
Subject: happy birthday

I picked up a hitchhiker at the cape bridge rotary.
She had tears drawn under her eyes in red and blue pen. And b.o.
She was a schizophrenic named Paula with invisible friends
from flying saucers that can't go to Omaha without her.
They create her from scratch every few days so they can
sell her soul again. She can't remember anything from before that.
They named her "Paula" this time.

She hears underground people scream whenever cars go by.
She said something to someone floating alongside the car.
She's got to go to Omaha which is full of horrible child
molesters, so the invisibles can fight against Jimmy Hoffa.
Me: Junior or senior?
She: I don't know anything about that.
Me: Do you ever think you might be crazy?
She: Why would anyone want to be crazy?

She was going to Hyannis to sleep under a bridge and wait for money.
I asked her if she ever saw any Kennedys.
She got really nervous and twitchy then.
So I got really nervous and wondered if she was violent.
So I asked her if she knew about cars and said that my truck
might quit working any minute. I figured even a crazy person
would only murder you if they thought your car was reliable.
She immediately looked much less dangerous.
I asked her why the flying saucer people couldn't just fly to
Omaha. She said "toilet people? what about toilet people?
Then she said I could let her off anywhere.
I gladly did so. As she was getting out she said "Why would
anyone put a toilet seat on their car?"
I said "It's cuz I'm crazy."
She glared at me as I drove off.