Product labels drive me crazy. I spend my entire day faced with text so why surround myself with words when I don't have to? A few months ago, during the dead of winter and the apex of boredom, I decided to remove all the labels from my toiletries. I found that most of the labels were almost impossible to remove. After spending hours soaking and scrubbing and spraying various toxic cleaners on expensive jars of eye cream and hair conditioners in an effort to remove all traces of their manufacturers, I vowed to shop more carefully in the future. Now I purchase only products which have easily removable labels and my bathroom is almost fully stocked with clear glass jars and anonymous, opaque plastic bottles. The ironic result of this quest to banish product placement from my inner boudoir is that I've developed all-new, completely obsessive brand loyalties to those products with clean-peeling labels: Bauch & Lomb contact lense solution, pHisoderm cleanser, Neutrogena moisturizers, etc. My one consolation is that perhaps my wacky consumer methodology is really confusing those demographics people.

The unplugged phone is entirely non-judgmental. It's all about determinism. And choice. You choose to refuse all calls, across the board and the choice is based on the universal rather than the particular. By screening messages you say something about your callers, you are in effect making choices based on who they are, on them, and therefore on the external world. But in unplugging the phone you have made a choice based on your own state of mind.

It is not enough simply to turn down the volume on the answering machine, you must block out the sound of the phone entirely. For in choosing to unplug the phone based on a mood you should then wait until your mood alters, of its own course. Should the phone ring, and wake you from your disconnectedness, you may find yourself guilted into checking your messages, returning the calls, reaching out once again. For our health we are told to eat only when we are hungry. As anyone knows being constantly surrounded by food has a tendency to "make" one hungry more often. I would posit that constantly being within earshot of a ringing phone makes one hungry for communication, inclines one to cater to the needs, interests, queries and demands of others. I love unplugging my phone. I prefer being able to determine when I will be beholden to others and when I will be apart. Besides, I can always be paged.

The best brunch in the city has finally been revealed to me. The place has huge, substantial omelets that avoid being runny no matter what is wrapped inside. They have an ever-changing fritatta that is so large they have to bring you the potatoes as a side dish. They have ideal potatoes, great coffee, and absolutely divine homemade baked goods including god's gift to the world of cinnamon rolls. And I am most certainly not going to tell anyone where it is lest this tiny, precious, perfect establishment be overrun by brunch heathens looking for anything less than a religious experience.