Mr. Potatohead is a freak. An adorable, plastic, wildman freak. Anyone who owns a removable mustache is freaky. And those glasses? Tell me they're prescription. Come on, Mr. Potatohead doesn't need glasses. He's a potato for crying out loud. Those glasses are just an adjunct to his incredibly dynamic personality. Or aren't they?

Obviously, that's the big question about Mr. Potatohead: Which pieces of the total Potatohead ensemble are fundamentally necessary and which are nothing more than frivolous accessories? The eyes are probably the only aspect of Mr. Potatohead that he'd be lost without. All the rest is perfunctory. It serves only to transform him from joe spud into joe stud.

For the friendly, boy-next-door look he dons his wide, pearly white grin while the spectacles give him a wealthy, accomplished air. The exotic, foreign look is easily achieved with a quick flick of the black mustache. And for a night of romance Mr. Potatohead wouldn't consider anything other than the lush, full, red-lipped mouth.

Ultimately, Mr. Potatohead is a savvy creature who knows what he's got going on. He understands that in our world of shallow appearances, no one takes a plain potato seriously. But a potato with a jaunty hat? Well, just watch the world sit up and take notice.

Donuts. Yummyummyummyummyummy. God I love donuts. Well, ok, only the glazed buttermilk donuts. But still.

The Titanic may be mainstream Hollywood but I just can't get that image of frozen Leonardo DiCaprio sinking into the water out of my head. The idea that all those passengers who miraculously made it off the plunging boat and into the water alive, wearing life vests no less, were left to freeze to death by the first class survivors in the nearly empty life boats makes my heart shiver. I'll be the first to admit that the movie is exactly what you expect it to be -- exceptionally beautiful, a tad too spectacular, totally predictable and ultimately kind of hokey. But in fact this is where its power lies. It is so absolutely, *precisely*, exactly what you expect it to be that personally I can't help but admire the movie. There is a certain beauty in perfection which takes an object beyond its origins, be they noble or trite, and places it in the realm of the flawless where those comfortable with moral ambiguity may admire the perfect realization of intangible notion.